Adam and Sanford Part 3: Internet Banter

Sanford and Adam are discussing a beautiful young woman. (Who, for our purposes, will remain nameless.)


akanefive (10:24:50 PM): HELLO

sanfordnh (10:27:03 PM): sorry, i stepped away...but OH MY GOD

akanefive (10:27:17 PM): uh HUH

akanefive (10:27:21 PM): HELLO

sanfordnh (10:27:22 PM): wow

sanfordnh (10:27:32 PM): heeeyyyyoooo

akanefive (10:27:40 PM): HELLO

sanfordnh (10:27:44 PM): WHAT UPPP

akanefive (10:28:04 PM): A-OOOOOOO-GAH

sanfordnh (10:28:23 PM): ARRRROOOOOOOOOOO

akanefive (10:28:37 PM): HELLO

sanfordnh (10:28:42 PM): well, that was fun

akanefive (10:28:50 PM): going on the blog


If anyone wasn't sure... Sanford and I are terribly, terribly, terribly alone.

The Adam and Sanford Dialogues

Another typical Adam and Sanford conversation.

sanfordnh: i hate jersey kids

akanefive: i hate upper east side kids

sanfordnh: they are lame too

sanfordnh: and so are L.A. douches

akanefive: generally

akanefive: i hate people who are stupid

akanefive: and people who arent self aware

sanfordnh: exactly

akanefive: that second one is the big one for me

akanefive: like its ok to do stupid things

akanefive: as long as you recognize it

akanefive: and adjust for the future

sanfordnh: but if you dont know you are being stupid....

sanfordnh: i hate your guts

akanefive : exactly

akanefive : i also hate hypocrites

sanfordnh: me too, but i also love them

akanefive : fair enough

sanfordnh: you know?

sanfordnh: i do and i dont

akanefive : i both understand that

akanefive : and have no idea what youre talking about

sanfordnh: well, as long as we are on the same, and different, point

akanefive : its good and bad

akanefive : i hate this conversation... and find myself oddly drawn to it

akanefive : (ok now im just being a woman)

sanfordnh: haha

akanefive : "oh this conversation is so dangerous... but its so attractive... i can change it... this conversation will listen to me"

sanfordnh: i am so confused, but i feel like i know exactly what is going on

akanefive : i know what you mean...

akanefive : ... but dont

sanfordnh: this is getting really annoying......but im having a blast.....

akanefive : im not....

akanefive : .... but at the same time i am

sanfordnh: well, i have no idea how to read. Also, i just wrote a book.

akanefive : i really need to go to bed

akanefive : but ill probably be up a while

Creative Thinking With Adam and Sanford

Sanford has a date tomorrow. Him and I discussed what he should do on this date. What follows is unedited.

sanfordnh (1:36:35 AM): well, i hope that she wants to hang out tomorrow

akanefive (1:36:50 AM): i hope so too dude

sanfordnh (1:37:07 AM): even though i dont know where we are going to eat, and the museum i was going to bring her to is closed

sanfordnh (1:37:18 AM): so, i guess just lunch and then...i dont know...a movie?

akanefive (1:37:31 AM): not a movie

akanefive (1:37:35 AM): be more creative

akanefive (1:37:43 AM): youre in los angeles

sanfordnh (1:37:45 AM): like what? i dont know what to do man

sanfordnh (1:37:55 AM): i looked it up online, and i couldnt find anything

akanefive (1:38:04 AM): well

sanfordnh (1:38:05 AM): maybe i will take her to a park or something

akanefive (1:38:11 AM): there you go

sanfordnh (1:39:00 AM): we can walk in a dog park, or something

akanefive (1:39:10 AM): yeah

akanefive (1:39:20 AM): and buy her ice cream

akanefive (1:39:24 AM): or something

akanefive (1:40:58 AM): maybe buy her a ticket to your pants

sanfordnh (1:41:27 AM): ask her if she wants join the party. It is in my pants, and i want to know if she wants to come to the party

akanefive (1:41:42 AM): haha

akanefive (1:41:58 AM): when you see her

akanefive (1:41:59 AM): say

akanefive (1:42:04 AM): daddy's home

sanfordnh (1:42:08 AM): haha

sanfordnh (1:42:13 AM): that would be so funny

akanefive (1:42:18 AM): it would

sanfordnh (1:42:23 AM): only to me...and you

sanfordnh (1:42:25 AM): she would leave

akanefive (1:42:33 AM): yeah she would

akanefive (1:42:35 AM): oh

sanfordnh (1:42:38 AM): but being that she isnt going to come here anyway....

akanefive (1:42:48 AM): and dont let on about how much of a nerd you are

sanfordnh (1:42:57 AM): should i tell her i love her?

sanfordnh (1:43:05 AM): or buy her a jar of olives?

sanfordnh (1:43:52 AM): maybe a blue french horn

akanefive (1:44:18 AM): or

akanefive (1:44:25 AM): a mix cd

sanfordnh (1:44:38 AM): haha

sanfordnh (1:44:41 AM): what a great idea

sanfordnh (1:44:58 AM): maybe i can put a bunch of love songs on it...and then....baby got back

akanefive (1:45:02 AM): haha

akanefive (1:45:07 AM): or

akanefive (1:45:20 AM): the soundtrack to shawshank redemption

sanfordnh (1:45:24 AM): haha

sanfordnh (1:45:57 AM): maybe i should just by her the movie Rounders

akanefive (1:46:34 AM): or st elsewhere season 1

sanfordnh (1:46:37 AM): haha

akanefive (1:46:54 AM): and tell her all your dates will consist of watching the show

akanefive (1:46:59 AM): one episode at a time

sanfordnh (1:47:00 AM): haha

akanefive (1:47:48 AM): or

akanefive (1:48:00 AM): a signed picture of curtis "booger" armstrong

sanfordnh (1:48:15 AM): or i could get Billy Dee Williams to sing to us as we eat dinner

akanefive (1:48:20 AM): yeah man

akanefive (1:48:38 AM): you should probably grow a moustache for the date

akanefive (1:48:42 AM): but like

sanfordnh (1:48:45 AM): done and done

akanefive (1:48:49 AM): a good three day stache

akanefive (1:48:53 AM): not a real one

sanfordnh (1:48:58 AM): done and done

sanfordnh (1:49:01 AM): haha

akanefive (1:49:04 AM): like youre going for the 5 oclock shadow

akanefive (1:49:11 AM): but thats the only place it came in

sanfordnh (1:49:15 AM): haha

sanfordnh (1:49:28 AM): i dont think i am going to wear pants for the date

akanefive (1:49:43 AM): do you have a really long t shirt?

sanfordnh (1:49:46 AM): haha

sanfordnh (1:49:50 AM): that would be great

akanefive (1:49:57 AM): like long enough that you can wear a belt with it

sanfordnh (1:50:45 AM): as long as it is a scarf that i tie into a belt

akanefive (1:50:50 AM): nice

akanefive (1:51:54 AM): can you wear a bandana around your face

akanefive (1:52:01 AM): like you're a train robber

sanfordnh (1:52:11 AM): haha, yeah totally


It's almost like he still lives downstairs.

Revenge of the Nerds is on television. I can't believe what they got away with in that movie.

Think about it. Think think about it.

Election day has come and gone. First of all, it's awesome that so many people voted. One of the great things about America is the power of one voice. One person can spark a change.

Regardless of how you voted, last night was historic. A country that, 150 years ago, a black man could be bought like an animal, has elected a black man president. This man started from the bottom of the political system, helping one person at a time, has risen to our highest elected office. At the very least, this should be an inspiration. It is the perfect example of the American dream.

This was a hard fought, intense election. People had strong opinions, and voiced them. This is another great thing about America. (Blah, blah blah.... you can't do that everywhere.) This election was particularly groundbreaking for several reasons, including the use of technology. This is the first youtube election, and the first facebook election. This means that individual voices have a greater forum to voice their opinions. We can all give our best 10 words about politics, sports, whatever.

It's awesome that people my age are invested in this election. I hope it will carry over. I hope in 2012, voter turnout is even higher. That said, let's be careful. I wrote about this in an old blog in 2004 (no, I will not be sharing the link), and what was happening then is happening again. I know it sucks when your candidate loses. I also know it sucks when your candidate is elected and doesn't deliver on his promises. Please, look at the situation and the issues objectively before reacting.

The Presidential election isn't a football game. Politics isn't sport. Vote for who you voted for proudly, support who you support. Voice your opinions, but do it responsibly. The petty stuff is incredibly off-putting, and, on one occasion I've seen, pretty racist. People aren't stupid because they disagree with you, and because they have another opinion doesn't mean they don't understand yours.

Embrace the fact that living in a republic means sometimes the person you vote for loses. Doesn't that just prove the system (flawed though it may be) works.


Or just move to Canada. They will definitely welcome you with their socialized medicine, ardent gun control and metric system. How conservative of them.

Yes We Can

In case any of you were wondering why I voted the way I did, here it is. This is a section from a speech Barack Obama gave last January, I'm sure many have heard it.

We know the battle ahead will be long, but always remember that no matter what obstacles stand in our way, nothing can withstand the power of millions of voices calling for change.

We have been told we cannot do this by a chorus of cynics who will only grow louder and more dissonant in the weeks to come. We’ve been asked to pause for a reality check. We’ve been warned against offering the people of this nation false hope.

But in the unlikely story that is America, there has never been anything false about hope. For when we have faced down impossible odds; when we’ve been told that we’re not ready, or that we shouldn’t try, or that we can’t, generations of Americans have responded with a simple creed that sums up the spirit of a people.

Yes we can.

It was a creed written into the founding documents that declared the destiny of a nation.

Yes we can.

It was whispered by slaves and abolitionists as they blazed a trail toward freedom through the darkest of nights.

Yes we can.

It was sung by immigrants as they struck out from distant shores and pioneers who pushed westward against an unforgiving wilderness.

Yes we can.

It was the call of workers who organized; women who reached for the ballot; a President who chose the moon as our new frontier; and a King who took us to the mountaintop and pointed the way to the Promised Land.

Yes we can to justice and equality. Yes we can to opportunity and prosperity. Yes we can heal this nation. Yes we can repair this world. Yes we can.

************

Also, remember, if you don't vote, you aren't allowed to complain about whoever you didn't help elect. Happy Election day.