I am resolved to not be the main character in every piece I write. Here is my first attempt at bucking that trend.
The Money Keeper
going through life as the
antagonist in every play
is no way to live
but here i am
a pinball
being
flung and batted
and bumped
only controlling the fact
that i do indeed exist
knowing this story
will end
whether i want it to or not
ill be talked about
until sound no longer
exists
isnt that the idea?
to be remembered?
Sunday, March 28, 2010
Thursday, January 21, 2010
Inspired by Insomnia
Last night I dreamed I ate my pillow. In the morning my ten pound marshmallow was gone.
In Defense of Hyperbole
I often dream of my
wikipedia page. Which will
undoubtedly say something vague
and pretentious like,
"While he began calling himself
a writer at the age of twenty three,
he never read or wrote anything substantial
until long after his death
at the age of ninety six.
"He is survived by his wives,
each more glamorous and pretentious
than the previous, and his dog,
Franklin Fitzgerald Kane, also a
writer, and his nine children,
each of whom star on the reigning
NBA champion, and pilot space vehicles in
their collective spare time."
I wake up with a smile
(Nine kids, any Catholic would!)
mostly at worlds of possibility.
In Defense of Hyperbole
I often dream of my
wikipedia page. Which will
undoubtedly say something vague
and pretentious like,
"While he began calling himself
a writer at the age of twenty three,
he never read or wrote anything substantial
until long after his death
at the age of ninety six.
"He is survived by his wives,
each more glamorous and pretentious
than the previous, and his dog,
Franklin Fitzgerald Kane, also a
writer, and his nine children,
each of whom star on the reigning
NBA champion, and pilot space vehicles in
their collective spare time."
I wake up with a smile
(Nine kids, any Catholic would!)
mostly at worlds of possibility.
Thursday, January 7, 2010
Requests
It's gimmicky, but whatevs...
A Like Poem
Liking
To Be
Liked.
Like liking.
Liking liking.
REALLY liking,
And liked.
Simply
enjoying being
liked. And, you know...
It's nice.
Liking
and being liked.
A Like Poem
Liking
To Be
Liked.
Like liking.
Liking liking.
REALLY liking,
And liked.
Simply
enjoying being
liked. And, you know...
It's nice.
Liking
and being liked.
Sunday, December 27, 2009
RE: JTS
Third
today i will just be sad.
when someone asks i will
tell them its a long story.
i just cant remember
it without reliving.
and it makes me sad.
so i will be sad.
and ill look at a picture
or listen to music or just think.
and ill distract myself
but still be sad.
and thats ok. tomorrow
i will wake up and
it will be the anniversary
of something else.
tomorrow i will wake up and be ok.
but you will still be gone.
today i will just be sad.
when someone asks i will
tell them its a long story.
i just cant remember
it without reliving.
and it makes me sad.
so i will be sad.
and ill look at a picture
or listen to music or just think.
and ill distract myself
but still be sad.
and thats ok. tomorrow
i will wake up and
it will be the anniversary
of something else.
tomorrow i will wake up and be ok.
but you will still be gone.
Sunday, December 20, 2009
RE: A.E. Houseman
Smart lad, to slip betimes away
From fields were glory does not stay
And early though the laurel grows
It withers quicker than the rose.
From "To an Athlete Dying Young" by A.E. Houseman
To an Actor Dying Young
a perfect record
perfect timing
before rumor or
farewell
or terrible metaphor
like riding horses or
snuffing candles
can take shape
rather
existing on scratched
copies of films
cardboard covers
corners frayed from
studious use
archive footage of
method twitches
copied by strangers
in places that were fiction
back when you were you
Thursday, December 17, 2009
An Additional Response to... Well...
Kaela, you make excellent points. (It's after 11 here in the East, so I'm being less formal.)
Your points are valid and accurate. And yes, he has been a better President in every measurable way than our previous President. The one thing George Bush excelled in was the immediate response to the attacks on 9/11. When he spoke to the nation that night, and to a joint session of Congress later that week, even the most cynical, skeptical, granola-eating liberal had to feel proud to have him as a President. The problem with George Bush started after all of this transpired. It was the longer-term response to this tragedy that, I would argue, defined his time in office.
Yes, Obama has raised the level of public health care debate in this country (somewhat). And he has avoided scandal and he has managed not to get dragged into the stupid stuff (tea parties, etc...). But my initial point was, expectations seemed higher to me in January. I'm glad Obama has done a better job than GWB (thus far). I still have a great amount of hope in the rest of his administration. It's just that this first year has been a bit of a let down from the campaign.
"I'm Andrew Sheppard and I AM the President!"
Your points are valid and accurate. And yes, he has been a better President in every measurable way than our previous President. The one thing George Bush excelled in was the immediate response to the attacks on 9/11. When he spoke to the nation that night, and to a joint session of Congress later that week, even the most cynical, skeptical, granola-eating liberal had to feel proud to have him as a President. The problem with George Bush started after all of this transpired. It was the longer-term response to this tragedy that, I would argue, defined his time in office.
Yes, Obama has raised the level of public health care debate in this country (somewhat). And he has avoided scandal and he has managed not to get dragged into the stupid stuff (tea parties, etc...). But my initial point was, expectations seemed higher to me in January. I'm glad Obama has done a better job than GWB (thus far). I still have a great amount of hope in the rest of his administration. It's just that this first year has been a bit of a let down from the campaign.
"I'm Andrew Sheppard and I AM the President!"
A Response To Your Response
Ms. Altman, your main point is the same as the Presidents. Namely, if the previous administration hadn't screwed up so royally, we wouldn't be in this quagmire to begin with. I agree wholeheartedly with this. I don't want to qualify you, but based on previous ideological discussions we've had, it's safe to say that, like me, you are someone who soured on Republican ideas and tactics during the GWB administration. I was someone who drank the Cool-Aid for far too long.
My position in the original post was not necessarily as clear as I would've hoped. I don't expect any President to perform miracles, nor do I expect him to fix a broken economy, force health care through two houses of Congress and end two wars. That would be far, far too much to ask.
My main contention with the Obama administration thus far, is that he hasn't been able to ride the optimism we all felt this time one year ago into any sort of positive change in Washington. Furthermore, the level of debate in this country seems to have been lowered to the standards of people like Glenn Beck and Sarah Palin, who use no level of logic or sense in their debate, but somehow are the voices conservatives seem to be listening to. The fact that some are still talking about the legitimacy of our Presidents birth certificate is maddening to me. The fact that Palin is still getting press is ridiculous. Based on the optimism I felt last Janurary we should be coming closer together and figuring out the best way to solve our problems, not shouting across the aisle and having cable "news" channels advocating tea parties that all seem to have hints of racism in their chanting.
I know my argument is impatient. And I can't expect the culture of some areas of this country to change overnight. All I want is something to hang my hat on from the last year. Maybe I'm asking for too much, seeing as how his whole campaign was so inspirational. I just want more "Yes We Can," and less "Well, we're working on it."
My position in the original post was not necessarily as clear as I would've hoped. I don't expect any President to perform miracles, nor do I expect him to fix a broken economy, force health care through two houses of Congress and end two wars. That would be far, far too much to ask.
My main contention with the Obama administration thus far, is that he hasn't been able to ride the optimism we all felt this time one year ago into any sort of positive change in Washington. Furthermore, the level of debate in this country seems to have been lowered to the standards of people like Glenn Beck and Sarah Palin, who use no level of logic or sense in their debate, but somehow are the voices conservatives seem to be listening to. The fact that some are still talking about the legitimacy of our Presidents birth certificate is maddening to me. The fact that Palin is still getting press is ridiculous. Based on the optimism I felt last Janurary we should be coming closer together and figuring out the best way to solve our problems, not shouting across the aisle and having cable "news" channels advocating tea parties that all seem to have hints of racism in their chanting.
I know my argument is impatient. And I can't expect the culture of some areas of this country to change overnight. All I want is something to hang my hat on from the last year. Maybe I'm asking for too much, seeing as how his whole campaign was so inspirational. I just want more "Yes We Can," and less "Well, we're working on it."
No Good Thing Ever Dies
I am sitting in the exact spot I sat when I watched President Obama deliver his inaugural address. I am watching Sportscenter today, nothing spectacular, although a young wide receiver has died tragically, so there is much less levity this morning, and the sad music is playing.
Anyway, I've been listening to that Avett Brothers song a lot. There's a repeated line, "And your life doesn't change by the man that's elected." The song itself isn't about politics, it's about right and wrong as real things, not some conceptual, pie in the sky ideas that people with graduate degrees sit and think about in a dark room. Right and wrong was easy when we were five. Stealing: wrong. Hitting: wrong. Helping: right. Sharing: right. Simple stuff.
To some degree, that is still the case. Stealing? Wrong. Hitting? Wrong. Helping and sharing? Still right. But what about our President? What's right and wrong for him? War? Universal health care? Taxes? Eleven months on the job and Americans still can't decide what's right and wrong. The president's approval numbers are steadily declining; and he hasn't been the inspiring leader we all thought he would be. His poetry has turned to prose. His saving grace is that the most visible and vocal Republican is Sarah Palin, and even she is becoming more well known for her indiscretions than she is for anything else. Meanwhile, she's spending her newly found free time filming bits for The Tonight Show like she's Dean Martin.
We still don't have health care. It took almost a year for decisive action in Afghanistan. Nothing has been done about crime, nor gay marriage. In short, our lives haven't been changed by this man. But then, is it realistic to expect that all of our lives WOULD change because of one man? And if one man could change all of our lives, why were we all so sure it would be Obama?
It's the same reason we still are today. Hope.
It's something we stopped talking about after the inauguration. But it's something we need to remember. Hope is the reason we all listened when he spoke during the primaries, and the reason half a million people regularly came to hear him speak. Hope. Hope is the reason I voted for him. Not because I hoped he would be a good President, or because I hoped he would win. (I knew he would win.) When I voted for him, I hoped it would signal a change in the ideals of the people. All that civics class stuff about America being a melting pot, and being more united than divided, blah blah blah.
I still hope. But hope isn't enough. There's another line in that Avett Brothers song, and that's what we all need to do. "Decide what to be and go be it."
Saturday, December 5, 2009
RE: Mayakovsky
Now I am quietly waiting for
the catastrophe of my personality
to seem beautiful again,
and interesting, and modern.
--Mayakovsky by Frank O'Hara from Meditations in an Emergency
On Senses
I look and smell like yesterday,
watching the world advance around me
while I exist stuck on a page in a book
I refuse to finish. While I sit, am
I achieving higher thought? Am I advancing
past some transcendental gateway?
I watch. Not observing. Not listening.
I see nothing beautiful, nor anything
atrocious. Real. Concerning
essentials. Food. Shower. In this moment,
that need is more important than the value
of the dollar, or war, or why am I here.
Are my thoughts transcendent? Or are his?
the catastrophe of my personality
to seem beautiful again,
and interesting, and modern.
--Mayakovsky by Frank O'Hara from Meditations in an Emergency
On Senses
I look and smell like yesterday,
watching the world advance around me
while I exist stuck on a page in a book
I refuse to finish. While I sit, am
I achieving higher thought? Am I advancing
past some transcendental gateway?
I watch. Not observing. Not listening.
I see nothing beautiful, nor anything
atrocious. Real. Concerning
essentials. Food. Shower. In this moment,
that need is more important than the value
of the dollar, or war, or why am I here.
Are my thoughts transcendent? Or are his?
Monday, February 2, 2009
Adam and Sanford Part 3: Internet Banter
Sanford and Adam are discussing a beautiful young woman. (Who, for our purposes, will remain nameless.)
akanefive (10:24:50 PM) : HELLO
akanefive
sanfordnh (10:27:03 PM) : sorry, i stepped away...but OH MY GOD
akanefive (10:27:17 PM) : uh HUH
akanefive (10:27:21 PM) : HELLO
sanfordnh (10:27:22 PM) : wow
sanfordnh (10:27:32 PM) : heeeyyyyoooo
akanefive (10:27:40 PM) : HELLO
sanfordnh (10:27:44 PM) : WHAT UPPP
akanefive (10:28:04 PM) : A-OOOOOOO-GAH
sanfordnh (10:28:23 PM) : ARRRROOOOOOOOOOO
akanefive (10:28:37 PM) : HELLO
sanfordnh (10:28:42 PM) : well, that was fun
akanefive (10:28:50 PM) : going on the blog
If anyone wasn't sure... Sanford and I are terribly, terribly, terribly alone.
If anyone wasn't sure... Sanford and I are terribly, terribly, terribly alone.
Friday, January 9, 2009
The Adam and Sanford Dialogues
Another typical Adam and Sanford conversation.
sanfordnh
sanfordnh
akanefive
sanfordnh
sanfordnh
akanefive
akanefive
akanefive
sanfordnh
akanefive
akanefive
akanefive
akanefive
sanfordnh
sanfordnh
akanefive : exactly
akanefive : i also hate hypocrites
sanfordnh
akanefive : fair enough
sanfordnh
sanfordnh
akanefive : i both understand that
akanefive : and have no idea what youre talking about
sanfordnh
akanefive : its good and bad
akanefive : i hate this conversation... and find myself oddly drawn to it
akanefive : (ok now im just being a woman)
sanfordnh
akanefive : "oh this conversation is so dangerous... but its so attractive... i can change it... this conversation will listen to me"
sanfordnh
akanefive : i know what you mean...
akanefive : ... but dont
sanfordnh
akanefive : im not....
akanefive : .... but at the same time i am
sanfordnh
akanefive : i really need to go to bed
akanefive : but ill probably be up a while
Sunday, December 21, 2008
Creative Thinking With Adam and Sanford
Sanford has a date tomorrow. Him and I discussed what he should do on this date. What follows is unedited.
sanfordnh (1:36:35 AM) : well, i hope that she wants to hang out tomorrow
akanefive (1:36:50 AM) : i hope so too dude
sanfordnh (1:37:07 AM) : even though i dont know where we are going to eat, and the museum i was going to bring her to is closed
sanfordnh (1:37:18 AM) : so, i guess just lunch and then...i dont know...a movie?
akanefive (1:37:31 AM) : not a movie
akanefive (1:37:35 AM) : be more creative
akanefive (1:37:43 AM) : youre in los angeles
sanfordnh (1:37:45 AM) : like what? i dont know what to do man
sanfordnh (1:37:55 AM) : i looked it up online, and i couldnt find anything
akanefive (1:38:04 AM) : well
sanfordnh (1:38:05 AM) : maybe i will take her to a park or something
akanefive (1:38:11 AM) : there you go
sanfordnh (1:39:00 AM) : we can walk in a dog park, or something
akanefive (1:39:10 AM) : yeah
akanefive (1:39:20 AM) : and buy her ice cream
akanefive (1:39:24 AM) : or something
akanefive (1:40:58 AM) : maybe buy her a ticket to your pants
sanfordnh (1:41:27 AM) : ask her if she wants join the party. It is in my pants, and i want to know if she wants to come to the party
akanefive (1:41:42 AM) : haha
akanefive (1:41:58 AM) : when you see her
akanefive (1:41:59 AM) : say
akanefive (1:42:04 AM) : daddy's home
sanfordnh (1:42:08 AM) : haha
sanfordnh (1:42:13 AM) : that would be so funny
akanefive (1:42:18 AM) : it would
sanfordnh (1:42:23 AM) : only to me...and you
sanfordnh (1:42:25 AM) : she would leave
akanefive (1:42:33 AM) : yeah she would
akanefive (1:42:35 AM) : oh
sanfordnh (1:42:38 AM) : but being that she isnt going to come here anyway....
akanefive (1:42:48 AM) : and dont let on about how much of a nerd you are
sanfordnh (1:42:57 AM) : should i tell her i love her?
sanfordnh (1:43:05 AM) : or buy her a jar of olives?
sanfordnh (1:43:52 AM) : maybe a blue french horn
akanefive (1:44:18 AM) : or
akanefive (1:44:25 AM) : a mix cd
sanfordnh (1:44:38 AM) : haha
sanfordnh (1:44:41 AM) : what a great idea
sanfordnh (1:44:58 AM) : maybe i can put a bunch of love songs on it...and then....baby got back
akanefive (1:45:02 AM) : haha
akanefive (1:45:07 AM) : or
akanefive (1:45:20 AM) : the soundtrack to shawshank redemption
sanfordnh (1:45:24 AM) : haha
sanfordnh (1:45:57 AM) : maybe i should just by her the movie Rounders
akanefive (1:46:34 AM) : or st elsewhere season 1
sanfordnh (1:46:37 AM) : haha
akanefive (1:46:54 AM) : and tell her all your dates will consist of watching the show
akanefive (1:46:59 AM) : one episode at a time
sanfordnh (1:47:00 AM) : haha
akanefive (1:47:48 AM) : or
akanefive (1:48:00 AM) : a signed picture of curtis "booger" armstrong
sanfordnh (1:48:15 AM) : or i could get Billy Dee Williams to sing to us as we eat dinner
akanefive (1:48:20 AM) : yeah man
akanefive (1:48:38 AM) : you should probably grow a moustache for the date
akanefive (1:48:42 AM) : but like
sanfordnh (1:48:45 AM) : done and done
akanefive (1:48:49 AM) : a good three day stache
akanefive (1:48:53 AM) : not a real one
sanfordnh (1:48:58 AM) : done and done
sanfordnh (1:49:01 AM) : haha
akanefive (1:49:04 AM) : like youre going for the 5 oclock shadow
akanefive (1:49:11 AM) : but thats the only place it came in
sanfordnh (1:49:15 AM) : haha
sanfordnh (1:49:28 AM) : i dont think i am going to wear pants for the date
akanefive (1:49:43 AM) : do you have a really long t shirt?
sanfordnh (1:49:46 AM) : haha
sanfordnh (1:49:50 AM) : that would be great
akanefive (1:49:57 AM) : like long enough that you can wear a belt with it
sanfordnh (1:50:45 AM) : as long as it is a scarf that i tie into a belt
akanefive (1:50:50 AM) : nice
akanefive (1:51:54 AM) : can you wear a bandana around your face
akanefive (1:52:01 AM) : like you're a train robber
sanfordnh (1:52:11 AM) : haha, yeah totally
It's almost like he still lives downstairs.
Revenge of the Nerds is on television. I can't believe what they got away with in that movie.
It's almost like he still lives downstairs.
Revenge of the Nerds is on television. I can't believe what they got away with in that movie.
Wednesday, November 5, 2008
Think about it. Think think about it.
Election day has come and gone. First of all, it's awesome that so many people voted. One of the great things about America is the power of one voice. One person can spark a change.
Regardless of how you voted, last night was historic. A country that, 150 years ago, a black man could be bought like an animal, has elected a black man president. This man started from the bottom of the political system, helping one person at a time, has risen to our highest elected office. At the very least, this should be an inspiration. It is the perfect example of the American dream.
This was a hard fought, intense election. People had strong opinions, and voiced them. This is another great thing about America. (Blah, blah blah.... you can't do that everywhere.) This election was particularly groundbreaking for several reasons, including the use of technology. This is the first youtube election, and the first facebook election. This means that individual voices have a greater forum to voice their opinions. We can all give our best 10 words about politics, sports, whatever.
It's awesome that people my age are invested in this election. I hope it will carry over. I hope in 2012, voter turnout is even higher. That said, let's be careful. I wrote about this in an old blog in 2004 (no, I will not be sharing the link), and what was happening then is happening again. I know it sucks when your candidate loses. I also know it sucks when your candidate is elected and doesn't deliver on his promises. Please, look at the situation and the issues objectively before reacting.
The Presidential election isn't a football game. Politics isn't sport. Vote for who you voted for proudly, support who you support. Voice your opinions, but do it responsibly. The petty stuff is incredibly off-putting, and, on one occasion I've seen, pretty racist. People aren't stupid because they disagree with you, and because they have another opinion doesn't mean they don't understand yours.
Embrace the fact that living in a republic means sometimes the person you vote for loses. Doesn't that just prove the system (flawed though it may be) works.
Or just move to Canada. They will definitely welcome you with their socialized medicine, ardent gun control and metric system. How conservative of them.
Regardless of how you voted, last night was historic. A country that, 150 years ago, a black man could be bought like an animal, has elected a black man president. This man started from the bottom of the political system, helping one person at a time, has risen to our highest elected office. At the very least, this should be an inspiration. It is the perfect example of the American dream.
This was a hard fought, intense election. People had strong opinions, and voiced them. This is another great thing about America. (Blah, blah blah.... you can't do that everywhere.) This election was particularly groundbreaking for several reasons, including the use of technology. This is the first youtube election, and the first facebook election. This means that individual voices have a greater forum to voice their opinions. We can all give our best 10 words about politics, sports, whatever.
It's awesome that people my age are invested in this election. I hope it will carry over. I hope in 2012, voter turnout is even higher. That said, let's be careful. I wrote about this in an old blog in 2004 (no, I will not be sharing the link), and what was happening then is happening again. I know it sucks when your candidate loses. I also know it sucks when your candidate is elected and doesn't deliver on his promises. Please, look at the situation and the issues objectively before reacting.
The Presidential election isn't a football game. Politics isn't sport. Vote for who you voted for proudly, support who you support. Voice your opinions, but do it responsibly. The petty stuff is incredibly off-putting, and, on one occasion I've seen, pretty racist. People aren't stupid because they disagree with you, and because they have another opinion doesn't mean they don't understand yours.
Embrace the fact that living in a republic means sometimes the person you vote for loses. Doesn't that just prove the system (flawed though it may be) works.
Or just move to Canada. They will definitely welcome you with their socialized medicine, ardent gun control and metric system. How conservative of them.
Tuesday, November 4, 2008
Yes We Can
In case any of you were wondering why I voted the way I did, here it is. This is a section from a speech Barack Obama gave last January, I'm sure many have heard it.
We know the battle ahead will be long, but always remember that no matter what obstacles stand in our way, nothing can withstand the power of millions of voices calling for change.
We have been told we cannot do this by a chorus of cynics who will only grow louder and more dissonant in the weeks to come. We’ve been asked to pause for a reality check. We’ve been warned against offering the people of this nation false hope.
But in the unlikely story that is America, there has never been anything false about hope. For when we have faced down impossible odds; when we’ve been told that we’re not ready, or that we shouldn’t try, or that we can’t, generations of Americans have responded with a simple creed that sums up the spirit of a people.
Yes we can.
It was a creed written into the founding documents that declared the destiny of a nation.
Yes we can.
It was whispered by slaves and abolitionists as they blazed a trail toward freedom through the darkest of nights.
Yes we can.
It was sung by immigrants as they struck out from distant shores and pioneers who pushed westward against an unforgiving wilderness.
Yes we can.
It was the call of workers who organized; women who reached for the ballot; a President who chose the moon as our new frontier; and a King who took us to the mountaintop and pointed the way to the Promised Land.
Yes we can to justice and equality. Yes we can to opportunity and prosperity. Yes we can heal this nation. Yes we can repair this world. Yes we can.
************
Also, remember, if you don't vote, you aren't allowed to complain about whoever you didn't help elect. Happy Election day.
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